


Tales of Asgard University

by thornmallow



Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011)
Genre: Gen, Hipster Loki, thor brodinson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-17
Updated: 2012-06-17
Packaged: 2017-11-07 22:31:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/436155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thornmallow/pseuds/thornmallow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hipster Loki, Thor Brodinson, and the Jackass Three.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tales of Asgard University

**Author's Note:**

> Written for my friend, Sid!

Loki Odinson regrets every second of every minute of every goddamned day that he agreed to live in a dorm with his older brother.

“It’ll be awesome, dude,” Thor had said. “We can totally hang out and do, like, stuff all the time. Plus it’s your freshman year and you need someone to show you the ropes.”

So far the ‘ropes’ meant enduring constant frustrations and indignities over the course of his daily life, usually due to the combined efforts of Thor and the howler monkeys he called friends. His brother and the Jackass Three often dominate the common room, drinking case after case of cheap beer and shouting drunkenly into headsets as they shoot each other in Call of Duty or Halo or whatever ridiculous war game was released that week.

Loki locks the door of the glorified closet that doubles as his room and hunches in the corner with a book and his earbuds, trying in vain to block out the rest of his increasingly irritating world. He’s enjoying a few hours’ respite at the moment because Thor and the others are at the weekly meeting for their fraternity, Ur Ur Eoel, where they are no doubt conducting important rituals involving paddles and more beer.

He’s on the last chapter of Crime and Punishment when he hears the door bust open and Thor scream, “BROTHER! WE ARE HOME AND WE HAVE BROUGHT YOU MEAT! COME FORTH TO FEAST WITH US.”

Loki’s body seizes up like a deer in the headlights of a truck. His nails (freshly painted black in his brother’s absence, as it’s the only time each week when Loki can redo the coat without any snickering comments about the apparent sexuality of nail polish smell) scratch out the sentence on the page before him as his fingers curl in agitation. He waits, tense, for the inevitable moment when Thor will break the lock on Loki’s door and try to drag him into the hallway.

“WHY DO YOU DENY ME,” Thor yells as he shatters the lock with his bare hands, ripping it from the doorknob and leaving it broken on the ground. He has done this at least once a week since his brother moved in, leading Loki to imagine that some remote corner of Valhalla is entirely filled with valiant locks.

Loki groans. He plucks out his earbuds, sets aside his iPod, and replies, “You know I’m vegan. I don’t eat meat. Or any animal product.”

Thor’s jubilant expression slackens into a confused sadness from which he quickly recovers. He scratches the back of his head in chagrin and says, “I forgot you were lame. My bad, dude.” He takes a bite of the burger he’s clutching and adds, “Volstagg accidentally ordered a salad and gave it to Sif; she might share a few leaves with you.”

“I don’t want anything—” Loki begins as Sif pokes her head into the room and grins wickedly. 

“Of course I’ll share with you,” she says, throwing a cherry tomato at him. To his credit, Loki catches the tomato nimbly between his fingers and pops it into his mouth.

“Thanks,” he says, and adjusts his glasses, as he has no collar worthy of popping. Sif rolls her eyes and disappears from the doorframe.

“We’re gonna watch a movie,” Thor says. “Wanna come out and interact with your fellow dude?”

“None of you are my fellows,” Loki replies. “And no. Because you’re probably going to watch something like Chainmail Babes in Space, am I right?”

“Chaimail Babes in Atlantis. Completely different,” Thor says, grinning. 

Loki replaces his earbuds and hits ‘Play’; the strains of a song that no one except him has ever heard of soon filling his mind. “Some of us have work to do.”

“Bro,” Thor says, “College is not about work.”

“I don’t think it’s about turning your brain to mush with alcohol and bad movies and processed food, either,” Loki says, turning a page in his book to indicate that he is done with the subject.

Thor shrugs. “It’s working pretty well for me so far.”

Loki doesn’t reply; to do so would undermine the absolute truth of his statement. Thor gives up—for the moment—and shuts the door behind him.


End file.
